Today, I worked out.
I know that’s nothing new for most people talking about health, wellness, and beauty, but it’s been years since I worked out at a gym.
My motto for now is doing anything is better than doing nothing because I am out of shape and I know it. I’m never going to be athletic, I’m never going to be “skinny,” I’m never going to be a body builder, and all of that is okay. I’m comfortable with that.
I am not comfortable in my skin though, due in part to dysphoria and due in part to being constantly sick. I’m tired of being sick and of my body feeling alien to me. So doing literally anything is better than the nothing I’ve been doing so far.
Today, I went to the gym. I did cardio. I did strength training. And I feel AMAZING. Because just getting my body moving, even if it’s not as fast as the guy next to me or as strong as the lady on the weight machines, makes me relaxed and alert. The headache I woke up with is gone. I’m drinking water like it ain’t no thang. I feel good.
And no, before you ask, the dysphoria I live with isn’t totally gone– but it’s bearable for today. The cold I’ve been fighting for months isn’t gone– but I can think anyway.
I’m going again tomorrow. And again, and again, and again. I may not do a lot every time. But if this is how I feel after one workout, I know a little bit will go a long, long way.